Traditional Chinese marriage () is a ceremonial ritual within Chinese societies that involves not only a union between spouses but also a union between the two families of a man and a woman, sometimes established by pre-arrangement between families. Marriage and family are inextricably linked, which involves the interests of both families. Within Chinese culture, monogamy was prescribed where a man was allowed to have one formal wife (妻 or 正妻), although in practise they were always allowed to have additional concubines (妾). Around the end of primitive society, traditional Chinese marriage rituals were formed, with deer skin betrothal in the Fuxi era, the appearance of the "meeting hall" during the Xia and Shang dynasties, and then in the Zhou dynasty, a complete set of marriage etiquette ("six rituals") gradually formed. The richness of this series of rituals proves the importance the ancients attached to marriage. In addition to the unique nature of the "three letters and six rituals", monogamy, remarriage and divorce in traditional Chinese marriage culture are also distinctive.
Etymology
The two-Chinese character word can be analyzed as follows: (hūn) was defined as the father of a man's wife (e.g. a man's father-in-law) in Erya, Erya: Explaining Relatives: "A daughter's husband is called a (alt. form: ), and a 's father is called a , and someone's wife's father is called a ." (in Pre-Classical Chinese) the earliest known Chinese dictionary; but now it generally means "marriage" in Modern Standard Chinese. The character has the phonetic component beside the radical as well as the semantic component . The phonetic component itself was used as the ancient (original) form of in Old Chinese. This implies that wedding ceremonies were typically performed in the evenings when yang (representing days/male) and yin (representing nights/female) cross over. Etiquette and Ceremonial: "The ceremony of a gentleman marrying his wife is performed at dusk (or hūn in Modern Chinese), thereby called so. It shall be performed at dusk because dusk, three quarters after the sun sets, is when yang fades and yin comes." (in Pre-Classical Chinese) (yīn) was defined as the father of a daughter's husband in Erya, but now generally means "marriage" or "relation by marriage" in Modern Chinese. The character has the same pronunciation as its phonetic component (yīn). According to Shuowen Jiezi, a dictionary of ancient Chinese characters, in this character is not only a phonetic component but also means to "go to" or to "follow" one's husband. Shuowen Jiezi: " means the husbands' home. It is where the woman goes to (), thereby called so. It consists of (female) and (go to), and is also phonetic." (in Pre-Classical Chinese) (Note that can have different meanings depending on its context. It is defined as "husband" in Shuowen Jiezi.)
Marriage in a Confucian context
In Confucian thought, marriage is of grave significance to both families and society, as well as being important for the cultivation of virtue. Traditionally, incest has been defined as marriage between people with the same surname. "One of the earliest marriage prohibitions, and one surviving to this day, was that forbidding persons of the same surname to marry. An imperial decree of 484 A.D. states that this rule was promulgated far back in the Zhou dynasty, which was from 1122 to 255 B.C.' Any one marrying within his clan received sixty blows, and the marriage was declared null and void. It was feared that such mating would produce weak offspring."From the perspective of a Confucian family, marriage brings together families of different surnames and continues the family line of the paternal clan. This is generally why giving birth to a boy is preferred over a girl. Therefore, the benefits and demerits of any marriage are important to the entire family, not just the individual couples. Socially, the married couple is thought to be the basic unit of society. In Chinese history, there have been many times when marriages have affected the country's political stability and international relations. For International Relations, "intermarriage has continued throughout Chinese history as a means of establishing and maintaining relations among families in the private sphere, as well as a factor in political careers. " For example, "Marriage alliances, or ho-ch'in , literally 'harmonious kinship,' was something new in its Han-era application. It was a part of a formal peace treaty arrangement at the interstate level, designed to pacify the powerful Hsiung-nu () empire" During the Han dynasty, the rulers of the powerful Xiongnu tribe demanded women from the imperial family. Many periods of Chinese history were dominated by the families of the wife or mother of the ruling emperor. For the country's political stability, during the Qing dynasty, although no "evidence of prohibitions against ethnic intermarriage within the Eight Banners", "in elite families of the ruling class, primary wives were almost entirely Manchu, while qie (commonly translated as "concubines") and other partners of lower status could be Han". In the Qing dynasty, most of the high officials were mainly Manchu, so in order to protect the interests of the family, the selection of a wife will be very important. in particular, if whether the woman was born in the "eight banners". For example, "the ethnicity apparent in the maiden names of wives in genealogies from elite Manchu descent groups, such as the Imperial Lineage."
Role of women in marriages
The bride had to leave her family to become a daughter-in-law, subject to the authority of her husband's mother. In this role, she could witness the addition of secondary wives or concubinage, especially if she failed to produce a male heir. The husband could repudiate her for various reasons, and in the event of his death, remarrying was a challenge. This situation underscored the lack of economic independence for women, as their labor focused on household duties without bringing in income. Farm women were largely illiterate, and they had minimal to no property rights.
Ancient China perceived the world as the result of the interplay between two complementary elements, yin and yang. Yin represented all things female, dark, weak, and passive, while yang represented all things male, bright, strong, and active. Although both male and female were deemed necessary and complementary, one was passive in relation to the other. Building on these ideological foundations, Chinese male moralists developed behavioral norms of obedience and passivity expected of women.
These norms placed girls subordinate to boys from infancy and maintained the wife's subordination to her husband and the mother's subordination to her grown son. Status within the family was formally outlined in the renowned "three bonds" accentuated by Confucian philosophers. These bonds included the allegiance of subjects to rulers, the filial obedience of sons to fathers, and the chastity expected from wives but not husbands. While the theory did not emphasize the relationship between mother and son it held practical importance.
When a father perceived the emergence of individuality and independence in his son, he harbored concerns about potential disruption to the family. Strong bonds of intimacy between the son and either mother or wife posed a potential threat to the vertical lines of loyalty and respect that upheld the family structure and the father's authority. Women were deemed destabilizers, even though they promised of descendants, they also posed a constant threat to the bond of obedience between parents and sons.
Ancient Chinese marriages
Marriages in early societies Women and men were married relatively young. For the women, it was soon after puberty and men were not much later, around fifteen and twenty respectively.
Mythological origin The story about the marriage of sister and brother Nüwa and Fu Xi told how they invented proper marriage procedures after marrying. At that time, the world was unpopulated so the siblings wanted to get married, but at the same time, they felt ashamed. They went up to Kunlun Mountains and prayed to the heavens. They asked for permission for their marriage and said, "if you allow us to marry, please make the mist surround us." The heavens gave permission to the couple, and promptly the peak was covered in mist. It is said that in order to hide her shyness, Nüwa covered her blushing face with a fan. Nowadays in some villages in China, the brides still follow the custom and use a fan to shield their faces.
Historic marriage practices
Endogamy among different classes in China was practiced, the upper class, such as the Shi, married among themselves. Commoners married among themselves as well, avoiding marriage with slaves and other ordinary people. This practice was enforced under the law.
Maternal marriage and monogamy In a maternal marriage, the husband moved in the woman's family home after the marriage. This happened in the transformation of antithetic marriage into monogamy, which signified the decline of matriarchy and the growing dominance of patriarchy in ancient China.
Marriage during the Han dynasty (202 BC – 220 AD) Marriages during this time included a number of mandatory steps. The most important of them was the presentation of betrothal gifts from the groom and his family to the bride and her family. The bride's family then countered with a dowry. Sometimes the bride's family would buy goods with the betrothal money. Using a betrothal gift for family financial needs rather than saving it for the bride was viewed as dishonorable because it appeared as though the bride has been sold. A marriage without a dowry or betrothal gifts was also seen as dishonorable, as the bride was then seen as a concubine instead of a wife. Once all the goods were exchanged, the bride was taken to the groom's ancestral home. There she was expected to obey her husband and live with his relatives. Women continued to belong to their husband's families even if they had passed. If the widow's birth family wanted her to marry again, they would often have to ransom her back from her deceased husband's family. If they had any children they stayed with his family.
Marriage matchmakers during the Ming dynasty
In the Ming period, marriage was considered solemn and according to the law written in The Ming Code (Da Ming Lü), all commoners' marriages must follow the rules written in Duke Wen's Family Rules (Wen Gong Jia Li). The rules stated that "in order to arrange a marriage, an agent must come and deliver messages between the two families." A marriage matchmaker had the license to play important roles by arranging marriages between two families. Sometimes both families were influential and wealthy and the matchmaker bonded the two families into powerful households. Studies have shown that, "In the Ming and Qing dynasties, a number of noble families emerged in Jiaxing of Zhejiang, where marriage is the most important way to expand their clan strength." Hence, marriage matchmakers were crucial during the Ming era, and offer an insight into the lives of the Ming commoners.