Joel Derfner (born January 12, 1973) is an American writer and composer. He is the author of three gay-themed books: Gay Haiku (2005), Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended Up Happening Instead (2008), and Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save the American Family (2013). His articles have appeared in publications including the Huffington Post, The Advocate, Time Out New York, and Between the Lines. Derfner and his works have been cited as references on gay culture,Myers, JoAnne. Historical Dictionary of the Lesbian and Gay Liberation Movements. Scarecrow Press, 2013. p. 420.Sukel, Kayt. Dirty Minds: How Our Brains Influence Love, Sex, and Relationships. Simon & Schuster, 2012. pp. 202–203. and he has been noted as one of "today's best-known gay writers".Lambert, Timothy J. and R. D. Cochrane (eds). Fool For Love: New Gay Fiction. Cleis Press, 2009. Back cover.
He is the composer of several musicals, and he teaches musical theater composition at New York University's Tisch School of the Arts. Derfner was also co-star of the first season of the 2010 reality television show Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, along with his close friend Sarah Rose.
Early life and education Derfner was born in 1973 in Washington, D.C.Jaffe, Kenneth. Solo Vocal Works on Jewish Themes: A Bibliography of Jewish Composers. Scarecrow Press, 2011. p. 44. and grew up in Charleston, South Carolina. His parents were civil rights activists, and were active in Mississippi during the Civil Rights Movement.United States Congress, House Committee on the Judiciary, Subcommittee on Courts, Civil Liberties, and the Administration of Justice. The Awarding of Attorney's Fees in Federal Courts: Hearings Before the Subcommittee on Courts, Civil Liberties, and the Administration of Justice. U.S. Government Printing Office, 1978. p. 104.Derfner, Mary Frances. Attorneys' Fees in Pro Bono Cases: A Compilation of Federal Court Cases. Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights, 1972.Kuttner, Bob. "Blacks & the Vote: The New Harassment". The Village Voice. June 17, 1971. His father, Armand Derfner, is a civil rights lawyer,Zuckerman, Ed (ed). Washington Lobbyists/Lawyers Directory. Amward Publications, 1977. p. 15.Graham, Muff. "Books for Youngsters Reinforce Self-Esteem". The News and Courier. May 3, 1975.Armand Derfner, Partner – Profile . Derfner, Altman & Wilborn. and his mother Mary Frances Derfner (née Seddon) met Armand when she became his legal secretary in Washington, D.C. in 1967.Lawfully Wedded Husband, p. 27."Local author Mary Derfner Dies". The Post and Courier. November 5, 1992. Joel's father is Jewish and his mother was Christian; he was raised Jewish and converted to Judaism at the age of seven.Swish, p. 79. His mother, who suffered from type 1 diabetes, died in 1992.Hawes, Jennifer Berry. "Armand Derfner: Attorney's lifelong passion to defend underdog has taken him to the nation's highest court" . The Post and Courier. November 16, 2002. Joel came out to his parents as gay when he was 15."Coming Out with Joel Derfner" Clip from Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys. World of Wonder. November 22, 2010.
He attended Porter-Gaud School, where he excelled academically and was class valedictorian."Local Students Named to '91 Academic Team". The News and Courier. July 4, 1991."20 Porter-Gaud Students Recognized". The Post and Courier. December 12, 1991. He was also an avid singer,McPhail, Claire. "Country music performers chosen". The News and Courier. July 22, 1990.Russell, Thomas. "Tenor welcomes challenge in Early Music performance". The Post and Courier. May 30, 1995. and considered singing as a career until his junior year of college, when severe gastric reflux numbed the back of his throat.Swish, pp. 139–140.
Attending Harvard University, he became treasurer of the Bisexual, Gay and Lesbian Students Association in 1992, and participated in other LGBT support groups and events.Wilde, Anna D. "BGLSA Elects Officers". The Harvard Crimson. April 23, 1992.Krause, Adi. "First-Years Begin Gay Group". The Harvard Crimson. March 7, 1992.Shukla, Amita M. "Shopping For House Drag Night". The Harvard Crimson. October 29, 1994. He also participated in the Harvard College Opera (then called the Dunster House Opera) as a singer and vocal coach. In 1995 he graduated with honors with a B.A. in linguistics."In search of the golden fleece: an analysis of syntactic wh-movement in Abkhaz". Joel Legare Derfner, Thesis (A.B., Honors in Linguistics); Harvard University, 1995. WorldCat. He moved to New York City in 1997 to study musical theater composition, and in 1999 obtained an M.F.A. in musical theater writing from New York University's Tisch School of the Arts.Keyes, Jeffrey James. "Checking In with NYC's Sarah Rose & Joel Derfner". GayCities.com. December 02, 2010.
Career
Books and other writings Derfner's first book, Gay Haiku (2005), had its inception during a musical-theater fundraising event in which, as an avid blogger, he was to post a blog entry every half hour for 24 hours.Boog, Jason. "The Popularity of Books Such as Redneck Haikus: How To Pitch Wild Book Ideas" . The Publishing Spot. July 26, 2006. He later explained, "I realized I could write 49 haiku about all the bad dates I'd been on and all the bad sex I'd had. They turned out pretty well, so I decided to write 20 more, which took me another week, and send them out as a manuscript called 69 Gay Haiku. Eventually Random House wanted it, but they needed 110 total, so I had to write 41 more."Bussel, Rachel Kramer. "Joel Derfner, author, Gay Haiku" . Gothamist. May 24, 2005. The Advocate called the book "clever, hilarious, and even poignant snapshots of urban gay life, from the sublime ... to the ridiculous.... Priceless!" and named it one of their "Top 20 Picks for Summer Reading" for 2005.Giltz, Michael. "Beach Book Bingo: Our Top 20 Picks for Summer Reading". The Advocate. June 7, 2005.
In hopes of writing another book, after the publication of Gay Haiku Derfner asked his editor what he would be interested in, and was told that since his bio on Gay Haiku said "In an attempt to be the gayest person ever, he took up knitting and got a job as a step aerobics instructor" he should write a book of essays about trying to become the gayest person ever.Boog, Jason. "Sex and Knitting: Pitching a Personal Memoir" . The Publishing Spot. July 28, 2006. This endeavor, also published by Random House, became Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended Up Happening Instead (2008), an autobiographical book that is by turns witty, serious, and emotionally self-revelatory. A portion of the book was excerpted in The Advocate. Elton John contacted Derfner saying that he loved the book; he contributed the foreword to its subsequent editions,Woodward-Fisher, Henry. . The Harvard Voice. January 2, 2010.John, Elton. "Foreword". In: Derfner, Joel. Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended Up Happening Instead. Random House, 2009. and for the book's front cover wrote that "Swish is the best book about being gay I've ever read. But it's not just about being gay; it's about being human."Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended Up Happening Instead. Broadway Books, 2009 (paperback edition). Front cover. The book was nominated for a Lambda Literary Award for Best Gay Memoir/Biography at the 21st Lambda Literary Awards."21st Annual Lambda Literary Awards". LambdaLiterary.org. February 18, 2010. Swish was also selected as a Stonewall Honor Book in Non-Fiction by the American Library Association's Stonewall Book Awards in 2009.Stonewall Book Awards 2009 . Stonewall Book Awards, American Library Association.
His third book, Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save the American Family, was published in September 2013.Derfner, Joel. Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save the American Family at Amazon.com. The autobiographical book explores many facets of both his and others' marriages, relationships, and families, including same-sex marriages. Derfner offers research and analysis as well as intimate revelations of his own relationship's ups and downs, offset with humor and the details of a reality show he participated in.Dewey, Charles. "Lawfully Wedded Husband traces couple's journey to the altar". Windy City Times. November 6, 2013.Book News Desk. "Joel Derfner Releases Memoir, Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save the American Family". BroadwayWorld.com. September 20, 2013. The book was published by University of Wisconsin Press as part of their "Living Out" LGBT autobiography series.Healey, Trebor. "Raphael Kadushin Gives Voice to LGBT Authors". Huffington Post Gay Voices. July 29, 2013. Segments of it have been anthologized at The New Civil Rights Movement.Badash, David. "Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save The American Family – Part I". The New Civil Rights Movement. September 15, 2013.Badash, David. "Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save The American Family – Part II" . The New Civil Rights Movement. October 6, 2013.Badash, David. "Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save The American Family – Part III". The New Civil Rights Movement. October 13, 2013. Lambda Literary gave the work high praise, calling it "a compelling memoir of love and family enriched by social history, politics, and sharp commentary on the state of our popular culture", and noting that "[Derfner] defines marriage as: 'an arrangement whereby, in pledging publicly to take care of each other, previously unrelated people become a family. ... The word marriage means family."March, Thomas. "Lawfully Wedded Husband: How My Gay Marriage Will Save the American Family by Joel Derfner. Lambda Literary. September 9, 2013.
Derfner also collaborated with Jackson Galaxy on his 2012 memoir Cat Daddy,Galaxy, Jackson with Joel Derfner. Cat Daddy: What the World's Most Incorrigible Cat Taught Me About Life, Love, and Coming Clean. Tarcher, 2012. and with Lisa J. Edwards on her 2012 book, A Dog Named Boo.Edwards, Lisa J. A Dog Named Boo: How One Dog and One Woman Rescued Each Other – and the Lives They Transformed Along the Way. Harlequin, 2012. Back matter. His articles have appeared in the Huffington Post,Derfner, Joel. "Against Gay Marriage". Huffington Post. December 3, 2010.Derfner, Joel. "Does it Get Better?". Huffington Post. December 17, 2010. The Advocate,Derfner, Joel. "An education in abstinence". The Advocate. August 16, 2005.Derfner, Joel. "Losing Dorothy Parker". The Advocate. September 9, 2008. Time Out New York,Derfner, Joel. "Fine-Tune Your Gaydar" . Time Out New York. May 7, 2008. and Between the Lines,Derfner, Joel. "Ways to be Gay" . Between the Lines. May 29, 2008. and his original piece "De Anima" was anthologized in the 2009 compendium Fool For Love: New Gay Fiction.Derfner, Joel. "De Anima". In: Lambert, Timothy J. and R. D. Cochrane (eds). Fool For Love: New Gay Fiction. Cleis Press, 2009. pp. 133–146.
Composition and musical theater
Signs of Life