George Aubrey Lyward (13 January 189422 June 1973) was a British educationalist and psychotherapist who founded and led Finchden Manor, a "community for delinquent, disturbed or disturbing boys"Dunhill 1973 in Tenterden, Kent, UK.
Early life and education Lyward grew up in the Clapham Junction area of south London. His father was a clerk and an opera singer among other endeavours, but left home while Lyward was very young. His mother taught in the Infant’s Department at St Stephen’s School in Westminster (later Burdett-Coutts School).Lyward 2009, pp. 14, 25-29 He had three sisters. A serious bout of polio at age 7 left him with a weakened leg. He won a scholarship to Emanuel School in Battersea, and there became a prefect, Head of House, and a sergeant in the Officers' Training Corps. As a prefect, he found that, despite his physical frailty, he had no difficulty when asked to keep order with a group known as the ‘toughs’. This experience made him aware of his ability to get on with ‘difficult’ boys.Prickett 1974 Even with the weakness in his leg, he went on to become a qualified and well-regarded rugby coach, and was a member of the London Society of Rugby Referees.Lyward 2009, p. 81
After leaving school he taught in two prep schools and at Kingston Grammar School and then returned to Emanuel as a master.Prickett 1974
During WWI, Lyward was rejected for service because of his weakened leg, but he served for several years in the Territorials with the OTC.Lyward 2009, p. 55Prickett 1974
In 1917 he was given two scholarships that allowed him to attend Cambridge. His plan to become a parson allowed some financial help from Church of England funds. Through his fine bass/baritone voice he was also awarded a choral scholarship to St John’s College.Prickett 1974Lyward 2009, p. 55 In order to supplement his modest scholarship funds he was a house tutor at The Perse School in Cambridge. He took a history degree, and in 1920 undertook clerical training at Bishop's College, Cheshunt. However, he abandoned this path two weeks before his planned ordination.Prickett 1974Lyward 2009, pp. 92-93
He taught again at Emanuel, then in 1923 moved to Trinity College, Glenalmond in Scotland to work with the sixth form, developing his ideas about teaching this age group. In 1928 a broken engagement led to a breakdown and treatment by Hugh Crichton-Miller, who along with John Rawlings Rees later asked Lyward to help with some of their patients.Lyward 2009, pp. 135-136Prickett 1974
Finchden Manor Lyward originally began working with a number of patients at Guildables farm, Edenbridge, Kent in 1930. By 1935 he moved the growing group to larger premises at Finchden Manor, Kent. During WW2, when Finchden Manor was requisitioned by the army, the community relocated to Pipe Aston near Ludlow, Shropshire, and then to Marrington Hall, Chirbury, Shropshire. After the war the community returned to Finchden Manor.Prickett 1974Lyward 2009, pp. 170-180 Lyward continued to work there until his death in 1973.
Finchden Manor is a Grade II* listed building on the outskirts of Tenterden, Kent. It is a large 16th century timber-framed house with subsequent additions. Sir Thomas More, when Lord Chancellor of England, was reported to have visited the house. It was used in the 19th century as a Benedictine priory.National Heritage List for England 1363181 After Lyward's community closed, Finchden Manor was converted to a set of private houses.Shaw 2020 The stable block and two sets of gate piers along with a garden wall are Grade II listed.National Heritage List for England 1276915National Heritage List for England 1232761National Heritage List for England 1232762
Therapeutic approach When Michael Burn, who wrote a book about Finchden Manor, first met Lyward he said 'I had a feeling of relief. He looked like none of the types I had dreaded finding … not a Presence, or Grand Old Man … He was of middle height and looked frail. He had a slightly abstracted air, and held his right hand over his heart, as if taking an oath or apologising for a hiccup.'Burn 1956, p. 5
A former Finchden boy recalls his initial interview with Lyward:
'He had a playful manner which threw you from the serious to the teasing and back again faster than I could keep up with. I was still answering the serious question when he was apparently making a joke about it. Yet I noticed he never lost the sense of direction, even though I felt I was being pulled around all the points of the compass in random order. He was getting his answers while I was still lost, giddy, and not sure what we had been talking about.'Wendelken 2019, Chapter 2
Lyward's style was conversational, mercurial, improvisational, and at times contradictory. His usual medium was lively conversation, 1-1 or with a group. He could disarm, reassure, provoke, surprise, amuse and attack.Prickett 1974Wendelken 2019, Chapter 8 Despite the boldness of his therapeutic approach, Lyward was basically a shy man, with a lifelong insecurity that gave him a chameleon-like quality designed to gain the support and approval of whomever he was withPrickett 1974Auster 1974Lyward 2009, pp. 89-90 One colleague's view was that Finchden provided a sheltered environment for Lyward, where his position protected him from those outside pressures with which he was unable to cope, while at the same time allowing him to be useful in helping those who lived there.Auster 1974
Lyward said that his educational and therapeutic career began 'when I first stood in front of a group of children, and the thought came to me like a blow, these are people – we are all people together in a room - that is the most important thing about this situation … Nothing could separate us, we were members one of another.'Lyward 2009, pp. 36, 38
Lyward said his approach has been was poetic rather than medical.Lyward 2009, p. 64Toplis 1974 He said that only a poet could understand Finchden and make sense of it. And, a fellow educationalist later added, only a poet could have run it.Harvey 2006, p. 121
Lyward never wrote a comprehensive account of his methods.Harvey 2006, p. 147 From his occasional writings and that of a number of colleagues some of the fundamental elements of his approach can be described.
According to one of his senior staff, Lyward had a talent for 'creative personal relationships'.Prickett 1974 On a first meeting he could put an anxious, self-protective or aggressive person at their ease, 'disarming' them and making them feel secure and accepted just as themselves .Prickett 1974Burn 1956, pp. 57ffWendelken 2019, Chapter 2 One psychiatrist felt that Lyward's major contribution was to recognise that the task of the therapist and teacher is 'to engage the other … in such a way that the need for masks diminishes and he person can respond fully from his "center".'Auster 1974 Part of the experience of being at Finchden was to have the individual's sense of trust and security widened from Lyward to include one or more of the staff, and eventually to the community as a whole.Burn 1956, p. 58
Finchden provided respite, with no pressures and as much time as was needed for recovery and regrowth.Prickett 1974Toplis 1974Harvey 2006, pp. 37, 64, 88, 143 Lyward's interviews with a boy would have no time limit. They could take hours if necessary.Harvey 2006, p. 114
The Finchden experience for most involved being allowed to regress and then to grow again through a much more secure and creative boyhood in a process Lyward sometimes called 'reweaning'.Harvey 2006, p. 114Burn 1956, pp. 54ff When appearing for a boy in court, and being asked by the Judge what sort of a place Finchden was, Lyward said 'I think I would call it a nursery, my Lord.'Lyward 2009, pp.80-81
Lyward often spoke of the 'depth' of the group experience at Finchden, and of how living at that depth is what provided the primary therapeutic benefit.Lyward 1970 The precise meaning of this word is elusive. No doubt, aspects of the Finchden experience which contributed to a deeper group experience were the lack of labelsLyward 1958 and no rules with accompanying sanctions.Lyward 1970 Lyward spoke of four kinds of group life, of increasing depth : guests at a hotel, a group governed by rules and sanctions, a group characterised by active involvement, and lastly, in St Paul’s phrase, a group which produced ‘membership one of another’.Lyward 1970 This phrase, a favourite of Lyward's, suggests a meeting with each other simply as people, with a mutual regard and respect.Toplis 1974
One statement that Lyward made that perhaps comes closest to defining what he meant by this depth of group life was: 'The emerging discipline of non-contractual living together without labels, formalized sanctions, or superficial fairness makes for play and recognition and for awareness and the genuine 'please' and 'thank you' that reveal non-face-saving health.'Lyward 1970
No rules Lyward would tell visitors that Finchden Manor operated without rules, because rules implied sanctions, which would impede the therapeutic flow of life in the community and would not be practical in any case.Lyward 1970Wendelken 2019, Chapter 3 If asked what was the structure of the day, he would sometimes reply 'Four meals a day plus cocoa.'Roberts 1974
At other times Lyward would say that the only rule at Finchden Manor was no pairing off, which could have the effect of insulating the pair from the rest of the community.Wendelken 2019, Chapter 8Lyward 2009, p. 88Burn 1956, pp. 61-62
Lyward tried to avoid labelling of all sorts, even admitting that he was not happy that the office at Finchden was so named.Lyward 1958 In a lecture on this subject he said 'I know there must be limits to this unlabelling. I know that many people need to use labels. I know there are children and adolescents who are so used to them that they must keep them for a while. But my purpose tonight is to hint at the opportunities which lie open where the labelling is reduced to a minimum, where you move about as people with people, not merely masters and pupils, or doctors and patients, and so on.'Lyward 1958
Regular activities If Finchden Manor did not have written rules it did have traditions and expectations.Roberts 1974
All the household chores, including cooking for the whole contingent of 50-70, were done by the boys. The skills were passed on from the older boys to the newer ones. Staff drew up a chores rota each week, and one of the staff had the task to keep a special eye on the kitchen. The cooking tended to be of a surprisingly high order. For special occasions the kitchen was busy until late the night before, to provide an array of cakes, petit fours, eclairs and brandy snaps, all made from scratch. It was common for visitors to be sceptical that this bunch of unprepossessing looking boys had produced such elegant baking and pastries.Roberts 1974
There were some activities that happened at different times of the year. An Easter treasure hunt took place using staff cars full of boys, chasing around the countryside, the clues usually devised by one or two of the older boys with staff assistance. The weekend of August Bank Holiday brought Old Boys' Day, when former Finchden residents returned. Those with families brought them along. A cricket match took place – Old Boys versus the current boys. A roast meal with all the trimmings was held in the hall. Many of the boys tended to stay on over Christmas, and a sumptuous meal was held in the hall, which was elaborately decorated for the occasion on a different theme each year – a Viking Hall, a fairground, a zoo, a Dickensian street scene.Wendelken 2019, Chapters 19, 25