The following is an episode list for the E4 series Fonejacker. The series premiered on Comedy Lab with a pilot episode, and due to much popularity, a full series started on 5 July 2007, although the series was originally going to be aired in April at some point, but was delayed. A Christmas special was aired on 20 December of the same year. Then, in 2008, a second series began on 18 September. Both series have been released on DVD including special features such as Unseen Material and audio commentaries.
Each episode is approximately 23 minutes long.
Comedy Lab Pilot: 2006
Comedy Lab Pilot aired May 2006
# Comedy Lab Pilot Pilot Mr Doovdé making three calls, calling someone asking for the number for "Hooomv" in Oxford Street calling for a Doovdé player and a loocada tiv, and calling a lady asking if her car is still for sale. When she replies yes, he says it's a shame, as if she said no. A criminal (not Dave) calling a man for a getaway driver to rob a bank. The man does not accept the offer. Jéan Pierre phoning a car Company to put a deposit on the "Phantom" Rolls-Royce only to have phone problems while he reveals his details. He phones the car company again later to leave his details, only to have phone problems again. George Agdgdgwngo making three calls, phoning a man picked from his database (A Phone Book) to receive a cash prize monies (£82.57) from the 1ps and 2ps people forget about, phoning from a building society asking a bank manager for her bank details so her branch can be refurbished and steam cleaned, but she threatens to call the police, and the other calling from automated telephone banking. The Mouse phones a vet after eating poison that's on a lump of cheese. The vet is too far away so he can't be seen. Alan calls a rickshaw driver to pick him up from terminal 4 of Heathrow airport. The Fonejacker phones a dentist receptionist with a mouth full, to give him a broken tooth style of talking, and asks to see a dentist, but then unknown to the receptionist he asks to perform some love acts on her, but she thinks he is still making an appointment. Mr Miggins phones a shop claiming a genie popped out of a brass lamp his wife bought, he asks for advice but the shopkeeper believes the lamp was not bought at his shop. The Fonejacker in a queue on the phone. He goes to his rooftop with a golf club and hits golf balls off it. The balls hit nearby traffic wardens.
Series One: 2007
Series 1 Aired: 5 July – 9 August 2007
# Series One 1.1 Mr Doovdé asking for a phone number for "Duhfs" and phoning a shop about repairing Voocrés. George Agdgdgwngo calling three victims, asking for account details, one involving a money ironer having a cardiac arrest inside the bank vault. The last of these calls is the shortest one ever made by the Fonejacker, where George asks if he can enter a man's bank account, to which he is curtly told 'Certainly not' before saying goodbye. Donald calling a restaurant only to be told that his wife is having an affair with another woman, making the restaurant manager feel guilty. Terry Tibbs enquiring about a Maserati 3200. A man with a Welsh accent claiming to have lost both of his thumbs in a freak baking accident calling a mobile phone shop to enquire about the best mobile phone for him. The Fonejacker calls a man holding up a sign in the street, and manages to persuade him to turn it to point in the opposite direction. The Mouse calling a pet shop to catch a cat who ate his family. Jafool asking for a job at BigArt, giving his details by beatboxing. Mr Broadbandings persuading a man to join Internet Service Providings, his overly priced ISP service which is 42 "megabytings" fast. At the end he feels "upsettings". Mike calling from "Lube Up Your Butthole and Dance The Fandango Entertainment Services Ltd". A man trying to buy a flat using the Flat Line, a worthless "automated" telephone service. 1.2 Mr Doovdé asking for a number for "Pük World" and calling an electronic store asking for a "Joovcé Lucde Tiv" and a "Joovcé Doovdé Player". George Agdgdgwngo asking for account details after problems with a man who has been placed inside a cash point, and is a human "card reader" Mr Miggins calling the Odeon Cinemas line assuming the woman is an automated phone service and is shouting film names and locations at her. Terry Tibbs calling about buying wooden ladders. The Beatboxer phoning a clothes shop about buying a shirt, describing the shirts by beatboxing. The Mouse phoning an entertainment service to get representation for his Oasis tribute act. Mike calling from "Wear a thistle in your fanny and whistle something nice network solutions incorporated" inquiring about an electric kettle. A man attempting to buy a property using the "automated" Flat Line. Brian calling an art shop, trying to give his details, only to start talking incomprehensibly which confuses the shop assistant. Mike calling a man from "Feed Spaghetti Through Your Japseye till your Balls turn Bluetooth Solutions Inc.". The Chinese DVD Gang calling a cinema asking if it has room for a film crew to film a movie in the back of the cinema for a "student project". Donald calling a hotel worker asking him to spank and whip him. Mike asking a man about his toaster claiming to be from "Roll Your Cock in Filo & Serve It As a Main IT Solutions Inc.". He then passes the phone onto his wife and Mike says he's from "Dip Your Balls in Soy & Fry Them In a Wok IT Solutions Incorporated" and wants to know about her oven gloves, claiming she's on their oven glove database, yet she says she doesn't even have oven gloves. 1.3 Mr Doovdé asking for the number for Doovlah. Terry Tibbs calling an elderly woman about an Italian fireplace. She asks him how he is going to get to North Wales to see the fire grate, only to reply "I dunno!.... speedboat!", before the call disconnects not making it clear who hung up. Mike calling from "Dip Your Cock in Treacle and Wave It At A Tramp Network Analysis Incorporated" asking a man about the excessive use of condiments in American themed restaurants. George Agdgdgwngo calling a man after discovering a pigeon in a bank vault. The man gives George his account number which are supposedly lottery numbers, and gives George the answer to his security question being "Jimmy Savile". It is revealed that George was a fan of Jim'll Fix It and wrote to him many times asking to have "lots of monies". Roger Barker trying to put a deposit down for a car he hasn't even seen, only to have the phone connection break up, making it impossible for the salesman to write down the man's details. The Mouse calling an exterminator about humans crawling on top of the floorboards, only to end up arguing with the woman on the other end of the phone, threatening to "shit in [her] tea". Mike calling from "You've Got Huge Bosoms and I'd Like To Put My Head Between Them I.T. Solutions Incorporated" asking a woman about her lifestyle. Mr Broadbandings calling a woman about upgrading her mobile phone contract which is, as usual, overly-priced. After arguing with the man, the woman is put through to his "manager" only to confuse her more and offer her a 'free ring ding', only to shout "Oh piss off!" and then hang up. A man calling a shop asking for their telephone number. Criminal Dave calling a locksmith asking about unlocking a safe whilst robbing a bank. Whilst talking to the locksmiths, she can hear an alarm bell, and a panicking bank manager who is being threatened by Dave. A man calling about renting a property whilst doing his job which is announcing train times (Kayvan uses a megaphone), only to confuse and frustrate the woman on the other end of the line, ending in her putting the phone down, mainly because he asked for a flat with a pond, as long as the estate agents clean it for him. After the woman hangs up, Kayvan starts laughing. Mr Miggins calling a computer helpline about opening a file sent by a friend, which he discovers after "clicking on the box" is a pornographic video. After being bedazzled by the video, Mr Miggins becomes frustrated as he doesn't know how to close the video, not to mention his wife trying to enter the room, all of which is heard by the man on the other end of the phone. George Agdgdgwngo phoning a man who is in bed about missing credit card details, only to be told to "fuck off". 1.4 Mr Doovdé asking for a phone number for "Duhul". Terry Tibbs calling a man about buying a Rolls-Royce and offering a much higher price (£25,000) as most export scammers do. The seller refuses believing Terry's offer to be an export scam after mentioning 'a gentleman in Uganda who might be interested' who is presumed to be George Agdgdgwngo. George Agdgdgwngo calling a woman telling her she has won a "serious amount of monies", which turns out to be £6.82. George also gives a long description about how he chooses the winner, which includes a meeting of delegates. One of these appears to be Lionel Richie. Mike calling a woman from "Lurpak Your A-hole and Sell the Story to The Sun IT Recruitment Services Ltd". Mr Doovdé calling a record store selling classical music, explaining he wanted to buy a "classic" song, but only knows the tune of it. He sings "West End Girls" by the Pet Shop Boys but with nonsense lyrics. The man in the store laughs hard, and says he has no idea what it is. The Mouse calling Pest Control after finding a mousetrap on the floor, and asking how to disable it, but ending up trapped and impaled in the mousetrap. A man calling a wedding video company asking for a film to be made of his honeymoon, directing it as a pornographic movie. The lady on the phone declines saying they do not cater for those sort of films, only to hang up when the man keeps on saying it's a honeymoon video. George Agdgdgwngo calling a woman from her Building Society asking her security questions, including her name ("my name" was the answer), favourite colour ("I don't know who I'm talking to" was the answer), and sort code, only to have the woman hang up. A BT engineer calling a book shop checking to see if their phone line is "crackly", whilst he is scrunching a crisp packet next to the mouthpiece. A member of the Chinese DVD Gang calling a lookalike agency asking to be a Samuel L. Jackson lookalike. A woman calling the "automated" Flat Line asking for a flat, but accidentally selecting other properties. After saying she wants a "one bedroom garden flat" she selected it correctly on her first attempt. When asked where she wants the flat, being Swansea, she is told she has selected a "two bedroom garden house in Shropshire", followed by a "three bedroom house in Shropshire" whilst the "automated" service supposedly malfunctions. A man called Steve calling a man running a hat stall in a market, asking him confusing questions about the fruit & veg stall, only to have the man completely lost. Bijan calling a paparazzi service whilst chasing David Beckham offering pictures and videos of him, only to crash into him. Donald calling a massage parlour saying he's found the number in his fourteen-year-old son's telephone. He gives the woman his son's description, being 6'2", having dark curly hair, is missing three fingers on his left hand, has a pineapple-shaped mole on his forehead, doesn't like to wear socks or shoes and is believed to have stolen one of his father's bowler hats. He also asks the woman to let his son know that his father he is "onto him". 1.5 Mike calling from "Tweak Your Mum By Her Nipples and Tell Her That You Love Her Wildlife Awareness Ltd" asking a woman about the tragic plight of the wrinkled ball sack, which she claims to know about. He asks if she is a bird lover.