The Bus Driver's Prayer, also known as the Busman's Lord's Prayer, is a parody of the Lord's Prayer that takes the bus driver around Greater London and the Home Counties. The words are apocryphal and have been around since at least 1960. The word play, making extensive use of puns on English place names, is typical of English humour. A Metropolitan police officer's version, entitled "The Law's Prayer", has also been devised.
Ian Dury's version The Bus Driver's Prayers has been popularised following Ian Dury's recording, originally on the soundtrack album Apples (1989) and later on The Bus Driver's Prayer & Other Stories (1992), who only used place names that referred to locations in London.
Below is a version predating Dury's recording, with alternative versions given in the notes.
Our Farnham,Our Father who art in HendonWho art in Heveningham Harrow be Thy name.Harrow Road be Thy name Thy Kingston come; thy Wimbledonthy Willesden In Erith as it is in Hendon. Give us this day our daily BrentGive us this day our Berkhamsted / our Leatherhead And forgive us our WestminsterPlural: Westminsters As we forgive those who Westminster against us.Forgive us our bypasses,As we forgive those who bypass against usForgive us our Tredegars,As we forgive those who Tredegar against us And lead us not into Thames DittonAnd lead us not into Temple Station But deliver us from Yeovil.But deliver us from Oval / from Ealing / from Ewell For Thine is the Kingston, the Purley, and the Crawley,For Thine is the Kingston, the Powys, and the Goring For Esher and Esher.For Iver and Iver Crouch End.
Earlier version An earlier version, undated and possibly apocryphal, is provided by Nancy Lyon. This undated version is linked with the development of stations on the London Underground Our Farnham, who art in Hendon, Holloway, Turnpike LaneThe comma has been inserted in the present edit to denote that these are two distinct locations: Holloway and Turnpike Lane. "Holloway" approximates best to the sound of the "syllabic e" in Hallowèd (which will read as 3 syllables, pronounced "Hallo wed"). Thy Kingston come; thy Wimbledon, On Erith as it is in Hendon. Give us this day our Maidenhead.The lines parodying "Forgive us our trespasses," are missing in Nancy Lyon's version And lead us not into Penge station But deliver us from Esher. For Thine is the Kingston, the TowerThis presumably refers to the station called Tower Hill outside the Tower of London. The station was formerly called Mark Lane. and the Horley For Iver and Iver Crouch End.
Also (Anon):
Our Farnham who art in Hendon/ Harrow, Turnpike Lane/ Thy Kingston Coombe/ Thy Wimbledon/ On Erith as it is in Hemel Hempstead/ Give us this day our Maidenhead/ And forgive us our Westminsters/ As we forgive those who Thames Path against us/ And lead us not into Thames Ditton/ But deliver us from Ealing/ For Thine is the Kingston/ The Purley and the Horley/ For Iver and Iver/ Crouch End
The Law's Prayer version Our sergeant, who art in Hendon, Harrow Road be thy name, Thy Kingston Coombe, thy Wimbledon In Erith as it is in Hendon, Give us this day our daily Brent and forgive us our train passes as we forgive those who Thames Path against us. Lead us not into Thames Ditton but deliver us from Ewell For thine is the Kingston, the Tower and the Hornsey, For Epsom and Esher, Amen Corner
See also List of songs about London Word play Puns Place name origins
Notes
External links This gives and describes the locations in Dury's version. More versions including ones based on other areas of England